Tumblr

LUCAS REVIEWS EVERYTHING HAS MOVED TO TUMBLR

Lucas reviews balsa wood

"Balsa hard mothafuckas wanna find me!" - American rap artist Jay-Z. Hell yeah Jay my thoughts exactly. Great raps! Wood'nt you know it, folks - Balsa wood continues to stand the test of time as one of the most reliable woods. If you're thinking of throwing your hat in the woodworking game, don't skimp out. Gotta get dat balsa! Go balsa-to-the-wall and go for the good stuff! 10/10. My favorite wood.

Lucas reviews his doctor, Dr. Haisling

Dr. Haisling is a physician from the upstate NY area who graduated from Albany Medical School and who told me today that if i don't eat less ham i will die before i graduate college (4 months) and who needs to get the fuck off my back 0/10

Lucas reviews the Century Novelty wizard hat

if you're serious about looking like a wizard then you better not skimp on the hat. the wizard hat can make or break the wizard costume and if you really wanna MAKE it, the wizard hat from Century Novelty is the way to go. please be warned that the Century Novelty wizard hat is not for you "dabblers." if the wizard thing is just a phase for you then pass on this one, because it is pricey and only for the people who are COMMITTED to looking like a wizard. if you're one of those people, then don't wait another second to buy your Century Novelty wizard hat. the Century Novelty wizard hat will without a doubt get people talking. specifically, about how you look like a real wizard!!! if you trust my opinion then trust that Century Novelty is absolutely the wizard hat of the "Century!" 10/10. fuck yeah dude!

Lucas reviews the dumpster at Reed Park in Oklahoma City, OK

i love a good dumpster but a lot of them don't get it right. most of them are too mainstream or just plain don't deliver the goods. i found my new favorite dumpster at Reed Park in Oklahoma City, OK. the Reed Park dumpster isn't too crowded, there's plenty of hidden treasures to be found if you look at the right time and the general vibe is just super chill. if you're looking for a new dumpster to find some cool stuff for free or just post up and hang out, check out the dumpster at Reed Park in Oklahoma City. but please, do not tell too many people and PLEASE only invite your coolest friends. i don't want to show up to my favorite dumpster tomorrow and find out it's turned into amateur hour.

10/10. really good dumpster.

Lucas reviews his neighbor's kid, Tristan

Tristan is my neighbor's eight year-old son. one thing that i firmly believe is that no child can be blamed for any shortcomings they may have behaviorally. most poorly behaved children are simply lacking a positive and exemplary adult figure to put them on the path towards becoming a sensible, moral and grateful person. this lack of guidance is absolutely beyond their control. we have to remember, before we lose our patience with a child or simply label them as just being "bad," that every child has the potential to become a thoughtful and well-balanced adult. Tristan is kind of a shithead though.

Tristan is hands down the most disruptive and frightening neighbor i have ever had. sometimes when he gets bored he will stand in the hallway and just scream until he can't anymore, and as far as i can tell Tristan doesn't speak. every time i encounter Tristan he just points at me and barks like a dog and i don't know that means. i know it sounds weird but sometimes when i look into Tristan's eyes, i see my life flash before mine. i have never met Tristan's parents, and my other neighbor Hash Gordon is convinced they were murdered by Tristan. personally i don't want to believe Tristan is capable of that, but i do know that he's capable of a lot of other bullshit though. i have seen Tristan hotwire cars and drive them around the apartment complex and also Tristan has the physical strength of someone much larger than him. last week i saw him rip a stop sign out of the ground. i don't understand where Tristan gets his strength from because all i have ever seen him eat is handfuls of dirt. maybe Tristan is just going through a weird phase but i have to admit i don't feel safe around him. sorry Tristan. you're a scary feral weirdo and you haunt my nightmares. 0/10.

Lucas reviews fruit

pictured above: fruit

 

fuck fruit.