after my good friend Brother Bones died on Christmas i assumed guardianship of his son, who is 11 months old and known simply as Little Bone. my time with Little Bone was short (only a day) because according to a very judgemental social services worker i kept him in "unsafe living conditions" and because i accidentally left him at the bank and also never actually "officially" had "legal" ownership of him.
i may have only had Little Bone for a day, but it made a big enough impression on me to choose him as the #2 best thing of 2011. Little Bone was awesome! he likes all the same foods as me (hot dogs, matzah, jalapeno pepperoni sticks) and seemed to love all my favorite movies ("Blank Check," "Deliverance"). Little Bone is extremely smart for an 11-month old and i am positive i heard him say "Lucas" once, and ALMOST positive i heard him say "i am a huge fan of your blog" another time. i feel like i did a great job as a dad but according to the "law" if you feed a baby ONE hot dog and ONE tray of matzah and ONE bag of jalapeno pepperoni sticks and leave him at ONE bank ONE time then you can't be a dad anymore. my one-day stint as a dad was an incredibly rewarding experience and i hope i become one again some day soon. i've asked Brother Bones' girlfriend/Little Bone's mom if she's interested in having another one but she has not returned my calls yet (i had Little Bone's name legally changed to Lucas while i had him and she seemed upset by it, so i think that's why. i think it will blow over soon).
anyway, what i call "helping out a dead friend by raising his baby" is what the law calls "kidnapping" so i have to go back to jail for a while. i'll talk to you all when i'm back on the streets! thank you all for following the Lucas Reviews Everything Top 10 Best Things of 2011 List. #1 is "This The Life" by Waka Flocka Flame by the way.
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