last night i shared my plan to skip town in order to avoid being murdered by Gabrielle Fouscas. well, i went through with it. i chose a town completely at random and headed off immediately.
that town was Enterprise, Utah. i have been here for a full day now.
Enterprise, Utah is a big plot of dirt that some people built a church and some stores on and decided that that was enough to call it a "town." there really isn't anything to do here. most people here just sort of wander up and down the road until it's time to go to bed (6:30 p.m.). the people seem nice enough but they're boring and they all smell like mud. i know i should appreciate the folksy, small town charm and not go on about all the terrible things about Enterprise but i don't and i'm going to;
- i have yet to see a single car in this town.
- i, in 100% seriousness, have trouble telling the townspeople apart from the livestock they raise (which they let wander the street freely).
- there are only about 4 establishments here, and even that is surprising because i wouldn't expect the Enterprise townspeople to be able to build a straw hut let alone a building.
- banking does not exist here
- no one will talk to me because i am not baptized
- there is a 7 p.m. curfew and you can only buy alcohol between noon and 5 p.m.
- the water tastes like corn
- from what i can tell there is no police force, no hospital and no mayor??
to be honest i'm wondering if it would be better to just let Gabrielle and his Satan cult murder me than to live in Enterprise, but i'll wait it out a little longer.
if you're looking for a nice place to vacation, check out while on a road trip, or settle down and raise a family in, avoid Enterprise and the pig-people that live in it.
0/10
p.s. please do not tell Gabrielle i am in Enterprise, Utah.
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