BREAKING NEWS
i've just received word from back home that Gabrielle Fouscas and his Satanic cult friends overdosed on heroin last night. GUESS WHO'S GONNA LIVE TO NOT BE MURDERED ANOTHER DAY? I AM.
things were real touch and go there for a little while. i had completely accepted that i was going to be murdered by Gabrielle but he is finally as dead as he's always looked. i know heroin has taken the lives of many great people- Janis Joplin, Kurt Kobain, Jim Belushi, my accountant, my life coach, 13 of my best friends... but i guess sometimes we get lucky and instead it takes the lives of awful ex-classmates who crave murder and love Satan.
with Gabrielle dead i can finally leave Enterprise, Utah and return home. it's been a pretty wild ride. what's most important is that i learned a valuable lesson from this experience- you can say anything about anyone you want as long as you're willing to live in Utah for a few weeks in order to avoid your own murder.
talk to you soon!
with Gabrielle dead i can finally leave Enterprise, Utah and return home. it's been a pretty wild ride. what's most important is that i learned a valuable lesson from this experience- you can say anything about anyone you want as long as you're willing to live in Utah for a few weeks in order to avoid your own murder.
talk to you soon!
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