Goodbye Bonemother

i really blew it this time. as you all know, i recently entered into a relationship with my dead best friend's girlfriend Bonemother and have been helping her raise her 11 month-old son Little Bone. last night she saw my ASPCA review, in which i confessed some feelings i have for Cristy, a misguided but ultimately kind-hearted crystal meth addicted stripper who appeared on an episode of Intervention. it did not go over well.

this morning, i woke up to this note:

"LUCAS

YOU HURT ME BAD. ME AND LITTLE BONE ARE GOING BACK TO CLEVELAND TO LIVE WITH MY DAD OLDBONE. GOODBYE FOREVER.

BONEMOTHER
XX BONES CREW XX"

obviously i am devastated. i loved Little Bone very much and was starting to really like Bonemother as well. i don't want to talk about it too much right now but please bare with me for the next few weeks.

also, again- if ANYONE knows how i can get in touch with Cristy please let me know. i think i am supposed to marry her. i have begun calling every rehab center in the US but i don't know Cristy's last name and every rehab center i've called so far has had at least a dozen strippers named Cristy. thank you.

i will begin posting reviews again as soon as i pull my life back together.